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Inspiration comes at the oddest times, usually when you least expect it. When it does come, don’t shrug it off… be inspired!

Jerry Grant Blakeney

What really invigorated me to coin such a blog? Let’s face it. A blogger thinks. A blogger has emotions. Either s/he is indubitably happy or glad, or unquestionably sad or confused.

A blogger has either experienced something life changing (good or bad) or wants to experience something life changing. A blogger shares his/her emotions to people. A  blogger expresses him/herself.

Blogging is fun. It’s a cool way to admit what you’re feeling, personally. Of course a blog can also be used to advertise products, companies, and the like.

What inspired you to start a blog? What inspired me?

I guess sadness is what inspired me. But like what my good friend, Tyler, told me “It’s hard to continue your stories if you’re not sad anymore.” Or it was something like that.. He said the stories would be different. Well maybe that’s what I need. One day, maybe I’ll check out my old posts, see how different they are from the present ones. Hopefully, a year from now, the tone of the posts would be different. Today, bitterness and sorrow and pain and anger and melancholy and forlorn and downcast and despair. Tomorrow, an intoxicating feeling of happines, heaven, a sight of blue skies.

I admit, I am sad. I am not happy nor am I thankful. It is more painful to feel sorrow when it is sudden. Like when a friend suddenly dies from a car crash. Just five minutes ago you were on the phone with her. Later that day, you find out she was hit and run by a car. So suddenly, somebody was taken from you.

No, no one died. I did not lose anyone that way. It was a mere paragon of how a “sudden” taste of sadness feels. Because it happens so sudden, the pain we feel is multiplied many many times.

One minute you are happy. The next, you feel like jumping off the Twin Towers.. luckily, those are gone.

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you’ve been living in
And if you do not want to see me again I would understand

–Third Eye Blind, Jumper

No, I do not want to kill myself, silly. I am sad, not depressed. You do not need to send me to rehab.

It’s just that this sudden emotion came out of no where, it took me by surprise, caught me off guard.

I have learned my lesson. Even when you are on Cloud 9, be prepared to fall. Eventually, clouds part, too. They loosen up, so be ready for the great, painful fall.

The other day, I was reading a blog about you. I was thinking to myself of how I felt sorry for the author. The pain she had felt, the sadness you had inflicted upon her.

I guess what goes around, comes around.

I am sorry. I am sorry I ever felt sorry for that author.

I am sure.. this blog is about you.

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Sometimes we get inspiration from complete strangers. A simple glance from the eyes, a half-smile from their face. A message shown from a blog.

Hey Tyler. You inspired me to write this.

I lost $200,000 playing poker on FaceBook today. My summer’s all washed out. My heart was finally healed this summer.. Then it got crushed again. They all have summer school. I am alone, I am no one.

I now realize all the harshness of life. Yesterday, I felt right at home in my world. Now I feel lost. Watching the entire 5th season of Lost made me feel even more lost. They just got out of the island. Why on earth would they wanna go back?

Why? Cause they belong there. Three years had gone by. They were living their lives back in paradise. Jack was a doctor. Kate was a mom. Sayid was a construction worker. Sun was mom to be. Hurly was fat. They were all in heaven. John told them they had to come back to the island. It was the only way to save everybody else on it. Why? Cause that’s where they belong. I guess it was like they were part of the island. Maybe it was like taking a robot’s legs off. How else would it walk?
Despite the heavenly life of Jack, Kate, Sayid, Sun and Hurly, deep inside of them, I know they felt the presence of hell. Jack was alone. Kate wasn’t the real mother of her son. Sayid was living a lie. Sun didn’t have Jin. Hurly was considered nuts.

Deep inside they knew they weren’t happy. That’s why in the end, it wasn’t difficult to make them go back to the island. Even if they’d tell themselves they were happy, they knew they were not. That’s why they chose to go back. Even with all the lies, the secrets, the trouble.. they knew it was where they belonged.

Where on this earth do I belong? Where do you?

A sudden burst of confusion. Suddenly, I do not know what I want anymore.

Yesterday, I was so sure of everything. Now, I am lost.